Physician Mental Health: Social Relationships
Social relationships are essential for our health. Let me refresh your memory about their benefits. Social relationships affect mental health, physical health, and mortality rates. When I talk about social relationships, I mean having recurring interactions with another person. This could be a family member, co-worker, barista, bartender, or all of the above.
Physicians Have a Different Experience with
Social Relationships
The average person starts their ‘adult’ life somewhere between 18 to 22 years old. This would be right after high school or after college. Many physicians don’t see their lives starting until after they have completed their training. After college, there is the medical school for another 4 years. That puts us at 26. Throw in another 3 years for residency. We are now 29. How about a couple more years for a fellowship or specialization? We now start ‘adult’ life at the ripe age of 32-ish. Think about that for a second. Think about your life as an 18 to 22-year-old vs being 32.
Physicians ‘Start’ Life Later
That’s not to say that ‘adult’ life didn’t start for you until you finished your training. Sure, you experienced college, moving away from home, births, deaths, and very similar issues. Some physicians may have married during that time and had kids but there are plenty of physicians who wanted to wait until they were more professionally and financially stable before they started their families. That’s who I’m speaking to today. The physician who completed their education and training before starting ‘adult’ life.
Physician Training
How do you build social relationships if all you’ve been focusing on the last several years was your training? Training is the first place to start. Be sure to maintain those relationships that you’ve built over medical school/ residency/ fellowship. It takes time and energy to maintain those relationships but you must and not only for professional reasons. Sure you can reach out to them for a medical consultation but that’s not the only type of relationship you need. You need social relationships. Your fellow students, residents, and fellows have been in the trenches with you. They know you, they like you. Maintain that relationship with them.
Hobbies
Another area where you can build social relationships is with your hobbies. Once you are a full-fledged attending, make sure you have hobbies that make you feel alive and excited. Do your hobbies with other people. There are countless groups in major cities and areas for almost every interest you can think of. If you like rock climbing, join the local rock climbing group. Maybe you like reading. Go join the library book club. If you are into archery, find the local shooting club to join. Volunteering is another great way to build relationships. There are countless clubs like Rotary, Lions, and Kiwanis clubs. Doing activities that love with other people or inviting other people to join in is a great way to build social relationships.
Children
If you have children, this is another way to build relationships. There is something to know though. Since you started ‘adult’ life 10 years later, there may be an age gap between you and your child’s friend’s parents. You may have parents who are 25 years old while you are 37 years old. They may be talking about the latest crazes on Tik Tok and Snapchat while you are still on Instagram and Reddit. They may be talking about going to EDC Las Vegas and partaking while you are talking about taking a nap, going to Costco, and finding a great deal on a Miter Saw at Home Depot. The age difference doesn’t matter though as long as you are on the same page as the other parents.
Dating
Dating is different when you are a little older and are a physician. If you’ve been out of the game, the dating landscape has changed significantly. Dating apps are common. Many people are using dating apps to meet, hook up or even have long-term relationships. Some relationships even bloom into full-blown marriage, house, and kids. The whole 9 yards. Meeting people through friends and family still works though. It’s not all online swiping left and right. Once you meet in person, dating is still dating.
Humans are social creatures. You need social relationships and they are essential for our health and well-being. Take the time and energy to build up relationships. It’s not an easy task but it is necessary. Without social relationships, you are headed for a world of hurt.
Looking to make a change in your life and want online therapy in California, online therapy in Michigan, or online therapy in Nevada, reach out to me here for a free 15-minute consultation. My name is Chris Rabanera and I want you to live your best life. I work with issues such as physician burnout, anxiety, depression, individuals dealing with relationships, and grief.
