Online Therapy in Michigan: Boundaries
In my work with high-achievers, I find there are similarities between many of the clients. One of the major issues we explore in therapy is the idea of boundaries. Boundaries can be defined as the line that marks the limit of an area. It is the dividing line between what is okay and not okay. With my clients, boundaries get blurry in two areas: Work and Family.
Learn to Set Boundaries with Online Therapy
When I start working with a client, I always start with an assessment. The reason for this is because I need to know what the situation is. We explore what is going on. It doesn’t matter what the scenario is. We could be talking about work stress, bosses, relationships with family members and friends, or even free time. We need a baseline understanding of the situation. If we don’t have a baseline, how are we supposed to measure progress or change?
The next step is to figure out what the client wants and needs. This step really goes into a value based process. What does the client need in this situation? What does the client want? What are limits and boundaries? What is acceptable and no acceptable? What happens if someone goes past the boundaries? What I have experienced in my work is many people hit a road bump. They have never asked themselves these questions. One of the reasons why they never asked these questions is because they have been so focused on achieving at any cost. When you’ve been running at this speed and at this level for so long, everything, and I mean everything, goes to the side except for those goals. So, there are no explicit boundaries set.
And I have a huge issue with having no explicit boundaries set. The reason why I have issues with having no explicit boundaries set is because in many cases, people have waived their right to choose. They did not set their own boundaries. Someone else set the boundaries for them. If someone is actively choosing to set their boundaries in a highly specific manner, I have zero problems with it. I have a problem when people do not actively participate in the boundary setting.
What are Your Values?
One of the interventions I use when doing online therapy in Michigan is to explore a client’s value set. A value set is a client’s values. What do they value the most in their life? It can change throughout time. They can be internal or external factors based on their current life situation. It can be anything and everything. This is one area where clients put in a lot of self-reflection and work. What are their driving forces? During this time, I also challenge their values so we can flush out what is truly important to them. Once clients figure out what is important to them, we can start to set boundaries.
Once we figure out the boundaries, then comes setting them. This is not an easy task. This step involves difficult conversations. I’m not sure if there is a person alive that likes to have difficult conversations. This is another opportunity for self growth. These conversations don’t always turn out the way you would expect but they are usually for the best. It is your job to choose the boundaries you set. It is the other’s job to act accordingly based on their own specific needs. Based on how they react to your boundaries, this will determine how you move forward in the interaction with the situation.
Boundaries are very important. They are present throughout all relationships in life. If you don’t set your boundaries, someone else will. Set your own boundaries.
Reach out for Online Therapy in Michigan
When you want to work on your boundaries, get online therapy in Michigan. Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. I’m Chris Rabanera. I provide online therapy in California, online therapy in Michigan, and online therapy in Las Vegas. I provide therapy for men, as well as work on issues such as physician burnout, grief counseling, anxiety, depression, and individuals dealing with relationships.
