Online Therapy in Michigan: How to Support a Grieving Person
Grief is defined as deep sorrow caused by a loss. Grief is not always related to death but is associated with it. Grief can be caused by the loss of a close friend, death, serious illness, the end of a relationship or the end of a dream. Grief comes in many forms. The feelings associated with grief can come and go like waves at the beach. Grief is a normal reaction people experience throughout life. How do you deal with someone going through grief?
Learn About Grief
The first thing I am going to talk about is how you are not supposed to support a grieving person. What you do not want to do is tell your friend these two lines. DO NOT REPEAT THESE LINES TO YOUR FRIEND. Do not tell your friend you know how they feel. If their grief is related to the death, do not say their loved one is in a better place. The reason why I am starting with these lines is because it is common for people to tell a person who is grieving these lines. Everyone understands that you want to comfort your friend. This is not the right way to do it. I’ll break it down.
Though the intent is good, the execution is poor. When you say you know how they feel, this is false. You have your own unique experience with loss in your life. You are not going through the exact same situation as this person. Everyone’s circumstances are different. You will never know how they feel as you are not them and they are not you. When you say their loved one is in a better place, again, the intent is good but the execution is not. When you say this, it does not address the fact that this person is in pain or hurting. When you say these things, you are not acknowledging the emotions the person is going through. You are brushing off the grieving person’s emotions. With the first line, you are making it about yourself. With the second line, you are telling the person not to worry. These are not helpful for people who are grieving.
Learn to Listen with Online Therapy in Michigan
One recommendation of what you should do is be an open ear. Listen to everything your friend is saying. Your job is to only listen. You do not get to give advice during this situation. There are two times when you can give advice in this situation. The first is when they are asking you directly for your insight and opinion. The second is when you ask to give insight and they say yes. Being an open ear and being present with your friend is a huge source of support.
What you can do is be authentic with what you are feeling for them. If you are feeling heart broken for the family, let them know. If you are at a loss of words, say so. You do not need to fill the air with words. You need to allow for silence and let the person grieve. They need time to think and process what happened. They do not need you to help them feel better about the situation. They need to experience and be present with their emotions.
Another recommendation is if you want to do something to support them, be sure to follow through with it. An example of this is when a person says, “Please let me know if I can do anything to help support you.” When a person says this, and the person who is grieving asks for something, follow through. Do not give offers to support and not back it up. I’ve seen these countless times. When there is a loss of a person, the bereaved are usually overwhelmed with issues they need to handle. If you offer to take something off their plate, like cook them a meal or come by the house and clean it out, just do it. Do not leave the bereaved out to dry.
Being a friend to someone who is dealing with grief is not easy. Everyone wants to instantly make their friend feel better. This is a normal feeling. The thing about grief or emotions is that emotions need to be experienced by the person. You cannot rush the process, no matter how bad the person is feeling. Emotions are to be experienced. This is something only the person can do. The best you can be is supportive and available to them if they want to talk.
Reach Out for Online Therapy in Michigan
If you want to learn more about online therapy in Michigan, reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. I’m Chris Rabanera. I provide online therapy in California, online therapy in Michigan, and online therapy in Las Vegas. I provide therapy for men, as well as work on issues such as physician burnout, grief counseling, anxiety, depression, and individuals dealing with relationships.
