Online Therapy in Michigan: Relationship with Parents

You are a grown adult. You have a job.  You pay your bills on time. You eat well.  You are out of your parents house and live on your own.  You’ve made it to #adulthood and your parents still talk to you like a child.  How do you deal with this?

Online Therapy in Michigan can Build Skills

You deal with this the same way you deal with your other relationships in your life. You run to your room, close your door, eat a quart of ice cream, ignore the situation, and hope it all gets better by itself. If only life was easy. You have a conversation with your parents by being direct, honest, respectful and appropriate. You aren’t talking to your parents like a jerk.  You are trying to build a relationship with them.

Be direct with what you need to say. Stop beating around the bush. Be honest about how you feel. Respect is necessary since they are your parents. Be appropriate with how you say things.  You are having a conversation about your treatment. You are not attacking your parents’ character or who they are. You are having a conversation about your treatment.

Here’s an example script of how you can start a conversation with your parents.

“Mom, I noticed when we talk, it feels like you talk to me like a child. Can you tell me about that? I’m trying to understand?”

Online Therapy can Improve Your Relationships. 

Since you started the conversation, make sure you are listening to what your parents are saying to you. There may or may not be truth in what they are saying. They may feel this is the best way to communicate with you. They may feel this is the only way they know how to communicate with you. Whatever their response is, you need to listen to what they are saying. I’m talking about the underlying message.

Now you have a better understanding of what is going on, acknowledge what they said. Summarize what they said to ensure you have a clear understanding of why. Ask clarifying questions if necessary to make sure you understand. After, tell them how you’d like to be treated. Then, stop talking and listen. Again, listen to what the underlying message is. It may or may not be the same as what they are saying.  You may or may not like what the response is.  It varies from person to person.  Make sure you are listening and being respectful.

After listening to your parents, the last step is setting your boundaries. This can be done in many ways. You can accept their thoughts and feelings from the conversation, and move on. You can continue to have this conversation with them on a regular basis. You can set firm boundaries and bring this up if your treatment is the same. You can stop having interactions with them.  This last step is specific and depends on how you want to move forward, or even if you want to move forward, with this relationship in your life.  Only you know the boundaries you’d like to set.

Improve your Relationship with Online Therapy in Michigan

Do you want to improve your relationships and build your base emotional intelligence? Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. My name is Chris Rabanera and I provide online therapy in California, online Therapy in Michigan, and online therapy in Las Vegas. I work with issues such as physician burnout, anxiety, depression, individuals dealing with relationships, and grief.