Mental Health for Men: The Why

With new clients, I always start with an assessment to get a better understanding of the situation and of the “why.” The assessment typically takes two to three sessions. At the end of the process, we slow down and take time to create goals for treatment. Your 'why' always plays a role in life and treatment. Your ‘why’ should help guide your life.

Typically, clients say they want to work on X, Y, and Z. X, Y, and Z are usually content. Content is the surface-level issue. If we work on the content, sure, we may get change and some results but traditionally, this is not why people work with me. People work with me for long-lasting results. To get long-lasting results, we don't want to put band-aids or find short-term solutions to the issue. We want to address the process or underlying reasons behind the issue.

Here's an example of content vs. process. On the content level, a parent becomes emotionally activated when his child does not listen to his instructions. The process could be this parent gets emotionally activated because the parent feels disrespected and unloved. This feeling is activating because it stems from his childhood where he felt like following directions showed he loved his parents. The content is the situation with the child. The process is the parent's feeling of not being respected or loved. It could even be the parent's feeling of being unlovable.

Mental Health for Men: Know Your Why

Also, flushing out your “why” takes time. Many of my clients have not taken the time to flush out there why. I've talked previously about having blinders on, as well as active decision-making. People are so busy climbing up ladders to achieve their goals that they have not taken the time to see if they are climbing up a ladder aligned with their values. They climb to climb. Once they reach the top and look around, they realize this isn't the ladder they want to climb. They come down and hop on the next ladder they see without thinking about it. And they repeat the process.

One tip to find your “why” is to slow down. Take a minute to breathe. Be mindful of what you are doing. Think about why you are going down this specific pathway in life. Are you taking this path because this is your decision? Or is it because someone else said this is something you should do? Is it because you don't know what to do you just started to walk? It may be beneficial for you to take a moment to examine what is going on in your life. Take a moment to recognize and acknowledge where you are and if this is aligned with who you are and what you want out of life.

Get Mental Health Treatment for Men

Address your mental health with therapy with Chris Rabanera. Take the first steps with a free 15-minute consultation. I offer online therapy in California, Michigan, Nebraska, and Las Vegas. As an experienced therapist, I specialize in physician burnout, grief counseling, anxiety, and depression. I also provide tailored mental health treatment for men.