Online Therapy Las Vegas: Emotion Bids and the Emotional Bank Account

It’s easy to measure our success through our professional achievements. Add a few more zeros to our bank accounts, a couple of awards and accolades, and improved metrics seem to be our main focus. With that said, it’s become easy to overlook the little things in life that may turn out to be more impactful than these things. As a high-achieving business owner, lawyer, or doctor, we tend to give little importance to how we connect with others or that we can get online therapy in Las Vegas to help us deal better with our emotions. Putting energy towards these other areas can significantly impact how we interact personally and professionally.

Understanding Emotional Bids

John Gottman, relationship expert, researcher, and author of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” has a concept that can improve how you connect with others. He introduced the idea of emotional bids as subtle attempts to connect with others emotionally. This can be anything as simple as a smile, a comment, or even a glance. How you respond to these bids can make or break a relationship. 

In our professional lives, many people tend to be results-oriented and don’t look at the process of getting there. We often choose to ignore these emotional bids because they may seem irrelevant. However, ignoring these bids tends to cause distance or tension in workplace relationships. We have to acknowledge and respond to these bids to build better connections personally and professionally. Someone is trying to tell you something indirectly and we are not picking it up. We are either actively dismissing this emotional bid or unaware of it. Either way, when we don’t engage with the emotional bid, we are missing an opportunity to connect. Too many missed emotional bids and we may find ourselves in a poor relationship.

The Emotional Bank Account

Similar to emotional bids, Stephen R. Covey developed the concept of the emotional bank account. Covey believed that every interaction is a transaction in an emotional bank account. Positive actions are deposits that build trust, while negative actions are withdrawals that damage relationships.

As a high achiever who manages others, we often prioritize our short-term gains instead of building long-term relationships. We focus on the “what can you do for me today?” at the cost of the relationship. This type of thinking can deplete our emotional bank account, which can lead to low morale and high turnover. The lack of focus on the relationship can make you feel like a poor leader. 

If you think about this from the point of view of our personal relationships, the stakes are even higher. Personal relationships thrive on these emotional connections. If every interaction you have with a person is a withdrawal or negative action that damages the relationship, why would we expect a healthy relationship? Failing to regularly make deposits or build trust will eventually cause the relationship to be poor or non-existent.

The Intersection of Personal & Professional Life

As high achievers, we may blur the lines of our personal and professional lives. We don't realize that the same skills and mindset we use in our professional lives, such as strategic thinking and focusing on results, may not work so well in our personal relationships. It may not even be as effective in the business world as you think. Being cutthroat in all areas of our lives is a recipe for disaster. 

If you want to see long-term success in both your personal and professional life, it is important to understand the concepts of emotional bids and the emotional bank account. Consider this an investment in your emotional intelligence and you’ll see positive results very soon.

For those looking to deepen their understanding of these concepts and improve their relationships, I recommend getting online therapy in Las Vegas for valuable insights and tools to take your mental health to the next level. Whether you’re navigating complex business relationships or striving to strengthen personal connections, understanding the emotional and relational dynamics at play is essential to your success.

Get Online Therapy in Las Vegas

When you’re ready to invest in therapy and make a change in your life, get online therapy in Las Vegas with Chris Rabanera. Get started with a free 15-minute consultation today. Offering online therapy in California, Michigan, Nebraska and Utah, I specialize in addressing physician burnout, grief counseling, anxiety, depression and providing tailored mental health treatment for men. Let’s get to work to make lasting positive changes.